u Oh + 0 x B The Tell-Tale Heart r Ag ent42 ! taco night roommate fridge loud C louder! louder! louder ! louder! It grew louder louder --louder! Normal dot d Agent42 39 n Microsoft Word 8 0 d@ u # @ @ L ( W ) The Tell-Tale Fart Andrew Bell - With profuse apologies to the fans and th e estate of Edgar Allen PoeTRUE! --hungry --very very dreadfully hungry I had b een and am but why will you say that I am inconsiderate The pangs have made me sharpen my senses not destroyed --not dulled them Above all was the sense of smelling acute I smelled all things in the fridge and on the hearth I smelled many things in that taco hell in which I lived How then am I inconsiderate W as it not my duty Hearken! and observe how healthily --how calmly I can tell yo u the whole story It is impossible to say how first the smell entered my nostri ls but once inhaled it haunted me day and night Object there was one Passion there was one I did not hate my roommate He had never wronged me He had neve r failed to timely pay his dues For his stereo I had no desire I think it was his left over Mexican food! yes it was this! He had Taco Bell --a super-sized t aco meal with cheese all over it He ordered it every noontime and left the rem ains within the confines of our fridge not to be touched by anyone but himself in this routine he never faltered Whenever the smell wafted over me my hunger ran hot and so by degrees --very gradually --I made up my mind to take the rem ains of the old taco and thus rid myself of the hunger for a night Now this is the point You fancy me inconsiderate Inconsiderate roommates take without ask ing in front of the other offering no apologies But you should have seen me You should have seen how wisely I proceeded --with what caution --with what fore sight --with what dissimulation I went to work! I was never kinder to my roommat e than during the whole week before I ate his taco And every night about midni ght I pulled the handle of the fridge and opened it --oh so gently! And then h olding down the automatic light switch with my finger I made an opening suffici ent for my head I put in my other hand clean all clean and then I thrust in my head Oh you would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly --very very slowly so that I might not disturb crinkly outer wrappi ng It took me an hour to place my whole head within the fridge so far that I co uld see the taco as it lay upon the plate Ha! would a madman have been so wise as this And then when my head was well in the fridge I let go of the automati c light button quickly-oh so quickly quickly (for I had but several seconds to gaze upon the glorious foil wrapper) -- I looked just quickly enough to confirm its taunting presence I did it so quickly so that a single dim light fell upon the partially consumed taco And this I did for seven long nights --every night just at midnight snacking time --but I found the taco always wrapped and so it was impossible to do the work for it was not the wrapper that I desired to con sume but his Half-Eaten Super-Sized Taco Meal And every morning when the alar m clock sounded I went boldly into the bedroom and spoke courageously to him calling him by fraternity nickname in a hearty tone and inquiring how he has pa ssed out the night before So you see he would have been a very sober college ju nior indeed to suspect that every night just at twelve I looked in upon his taco while he slept Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in o pening the fridge door The haunting glow of the microwave s minute timer moved more quickly than I Never before that night had I felt the extent of my hunger --of my drooling taco desire I could scarcely contain my pangs of hunger To th ink that there I was opening the door little by little and he passed out in h is loft bed with not a suspicion of my secret deeds or desires My stomach gurgl ed at the idea and perhaps he heard the infernal organ for I heard him move in the bedroom as if startled Now you may think that I closed the fridge door -- but no The kitchen was as black as tar with the thick darkness (for the veneti an blinds were close fastened through fear of being awakened before noon ) and so I knew that he could not see the opening of the fridge door and I kept pulli ng it on stealthily stealthily I had my head in and was about to release the automatic light switch when my foot slipped upon the ceramic tiled floor caus ing me to fall head-first into the fridge causing quite a ruckus my roommate s prang up in his bed crying out -- Who s there After quickly regaining my hold on the automatic light I kept quite still and said nothing my nose mere inches away from a bowl of putrid coleslaw For a whole hour I did not move a muscle and in the meantime I did not my roommate snore He was still sitting up in the bed --just as I have done night after night thinking longing yes yearning for that forbidden taco Presently I heard a slight groan and I knew it was the groan of mortal dismay It was not a groan of pain or of grief --oh no! --it w as the low stifled sound that arises from the bottom of the soul when a college student has been awakened prior to the hour of noon I knew the sound well Many a night just at midnight when all the world partied or passed-out it has wel led up from my own stomach grumbling with its dreadful bubbles the starved de sire that distracted me I say I knew it well I knew how my roommate felt and pitied him although I chuckled at heart I knew that he had been tossing and tu rning in bed since the first slight noise His fears of a prolonged insomnia had been ever since growing upon him He had been trying to fancy them causeless b ut could not He had been saying to himself -- It is nothing but the cat in the garbage --it is only a drunken fraternity brother stumbling down the hall or It is merely a passing car back-firing in the street Yes he had been trying t o comfort himself with these suppositions and he had found all satisfactory be cause Sleep in approaching him had stalked with his enchanting sand and taken his victim When I had waited a long time very patiently I heard him lie down I resolved to move a little --a very very little movement within that foul f ridge So I opened the door slightly wider--you cannot imagine how stealthily s tealthily --until at length a I released that automatic light switch and like the sudden flash of lightning birthed by a ferocious storm out the bulb fell f ull upon the glorious meal It was unwrapped utterly utterly unwrapped --and I grew ravenous as I gazed upon it I saw it with perfect distinctness --all a dull yellow with a wonderful covering of cheese ov er it that warmed the very pit of my stomach but I could more of my roomma tes movements for I had directed the light of the fridge as if by instinct pre cisely upon the brilliant taco And have I not told you that what you mistake fo r inconsideration is but over-acuteness of my hunger --now I say there came t o my ears a low dull drawn-out growl such as a wolf makes when threatened by another I knew that sound well too It was the grumbling of my own gut It inc reased my appetite as the yawn of a classmate stimulates an intense desire to n ap But even yet I refrained and kept still I scarcely breathed I held the cold plastic fork motionless I tried how steadily I could maintain that fork above the meal Meantime the furious craving of my stomach increased It grew larger a nd larger and louder and louder every instant My famine must have been rabid! The grumbling and rumbling grew louder I say louder every moment! --do you mar k me well I have told you that I am famished so I am And now at the dead hour of the night amid the slight stench of week-old pizza within that old refrigera tor so delightful a smell drifted as this excited me to uncontrollable hunger Yet for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still But the aroma grew str onger stronger! I thought my mouth must burst open and the saliva flow freely And now a new anxiety seized me --the sound of my consumption would be heard by my roommate! The Super-Sized Taco Meal s time had come! With a loud yell I thre w open the door and thrust my hands into the fridge It crackled once only once In an instant I thrust it into my mouth and ravenously bit into the remains o f my roommate s meal I then smiled gaily to find the deed so far done But fo r many minutes the taco crumbled with a muffled sound This however did not v ex me it would not be heard through the wall The taco was consumed I removed crumbs and examined the empty wrapper Yes it was utterly utterly consumed I p laced my hand upon the wrapper and held it there many minutes There was nothing left It was no more His taco would tempt me no more If still you think me in considerate you will think so no longer when I describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the wrapper so he may think that he himself had ea ten the taco The night waned and I worked hastily but in silent satisfaction First of all I collected the damned crumbs I ripped the foil wrapper to shreds I then took up three napkins from the hollows of the cabinets and deposited al l the remains within I then discarded the napkin so cleverly so cunningly th at no human nose --not even his --could have detected the residue There was no salsa to wash out --no stain of any kind --no gre ase-spot whatever I had been too wary for that My plate had caught all --ha! h a! When I had made an end of these labors it was four o clock --still dark as midnight As the bell sounded the hour there came a knocking at the street door I went down to open it with a light heart --for what had I now to fear There entered three men who introd uced themselves with perfect suavity as officers of the police A shriek had been heard by a neighbour during the night suspic ion of foul play had been aroused information ha d been lodged at the police office and they (the officers) had been deputed to search the premises I smiled --for what had I to fear I bade the gentlemen welcome The shriek I said was my own in a dream The old ma n I mentioned was absent in the country I took my visitors all over the house I bade them search --search well I led them at length to his chamber I showed them his treas ures secure undisturbed In the enthusiasm of m y confidence I brought chairs into the room and desired them here to rest from their fatigues while I myself in the wild audacity of my perfect triumph placed my own seat up on the very spot beneath which reposed the corpse of the victim The officers were satisfie d My manner had convinced them I was singularly at ease They sat and while I answered cheerily they chatted of familiar thin gs But ere long I felt myself getting pale and wished them gone My head ached and I fancied a ringing in my ears but still they sat and still chatted The ringing became more distinct --It continued and became more disti nct I talked more freely to get rid of the feeli ng but it continued and gained definiteness --until at length I found that the noise was not within my ears No doubt I now grew very pale --but I talked more fluently and with a heightened voice Yet the sound incr eased --and what could I do It was a low dull quick sound --much such a sound as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton I gasped for breath --and yet the officers heard it no t I talked more quickly --more vehemently but t he noise steadily increased I arose and argued a bout trifles in a high key and with violent gesticulations but the noise stead ily increased Why would they not be gone I pace d the floor to and fro with heavy strides as if excited to fury by the observations of the men --but the noise steadily increased Oh God! what could I do I foamed --I raved -- I swore! I swung the chair upon which I had been sitting and grated it upon the boards but the n oise arose over all and continually increased It grew louder --louder --louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly and smiled Was it possible they heard not Almighty God! - -no no! They heard! --they suspected! --they knew! --they were making a mockery of my horror!-this I thought and this I think But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more tolerable than this derision! I could b ear those hypocritical smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die! and now --again! --hark! louder! louder! louder! loude r! Villains! I shrieked dissemble no m ore! I admit the deed! --tear up the planks! here here! --It is the beating of his hideous heart! + D + t 0 h p Bell Labs Y c3 B The Tell-Tale Heart Title 6 _PID_GUID A N 8 A D E A 2 E 0 - 8 1 8 D - 1 1 D 2 - 8 6 6 1 - 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 g h i B E q ! * P& Y = ) ) !* * + u+ + E $- - s g h i B E q ! * P& Y =) ) !* * + u+ + E $- - s P 0 0 0 c1 1 G2 2 3 3 3 T4 4 95 5 6 6 6 a7 7 @8 8 9 9 9 f P 0 0 0 c1 1 G2 2 3 3 3 T4 4 95 5 6 6 6 a7 7 @8 8 9 9 9 f 0 0 @ L ( W ) 2U XU hY a a Je jk k k k m m q q q r *t Jv lx zz ( 2 D CJ 6 o t o n o u s l y t r i a n g l e s h e p a s s o u t t h e i n a b i l i t y o f m y r o o m m a t e t o s l e e p p o u n d e d t h e b e d m y t e e t h a g a i n s t e a c h o t h e r - - m y r o o m m a t e s a t i n b e d a w a k e a n d b e g a n t o s m i l e H e a s t h e s e g a s p a n g s a t d i s c h a r g e d i e l ! - - p u l l o p e n t h e t r a s h b a g r u m b l i n g t f a r t ! 2U XU hY a a Je j k k k k m m q q q r *t Jv lx zz ( 2 D CJ 6 Q hY z Je &f i q t v x z d dh d e d t h e b e d m y t e e t h a g a i n s t e a c h o t h e r m y r o o m m a t e s a t i n b e d a w a k e a n d b e g a n t o s m i l e H e a s t h e s e g a s p a n g s a t d i s c h a r g e d i e p u l l o p e n t h e t r a s h b a g r u m b l i n g f a r t ! T h e T e l l - T a l e F a r t n o w t h e m i c r o w a v e b l i n k e d t h e h o u r n o i s e f r o m t h e o t h e r r o o m I i n t o i n v e s t i g a t e s t o o d m y r o o m m a t e w h o g r e e t e d m e w i t h a l o w m u m b l e o f a s t u d e n t n o t a t a l l c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h t h e i d e a o f b e i n g c o n s c i o u s t h e e a r l y h o u r o f f o u r A n o i s e h a d b e e n h e a r d d u r i n g t h e n i g h t a n i n a b i l i t y t o s l e e p h a d e n s u e d t o s s i n g a n d t u r n i n g i n s o m n i a s o o n s e t i n a n d h e ( m y r o o m m a t e ) h a d t h o u g h t t h a t a l a t e n i g h t s n a c k m i g h t u s h e r i n h i s d e s i r e d r e s t E v e n i f h e d i d d i s c o v e r h i s m i s s i n g t a c o I c o u l d e a s i l y c o n v i n c e h i m t h a t h e h a d e a t e n i t i n h i s s l e e p h i m a p l e a s a n t l a t e n i g h t a n d e a r l y m o r n i n g n o i s e I t h e b a t h r o o m f o l l o w e d m y r o o m m a t e k i t c h e n t a l k e d t o h i m a b o u t p h i l o s o p h y a n d m a t h e m a t i c s n o n - l i n e a r m a t h e m a t i c s b o r e d h i m y a w n a n d r e t u r n t o t h e b e d r o o m b e f o r e h e e v e n h a d a c h a n c e t o i n v e s t i g a t e t h e f r i d g e m h i s w e l c o m i n g b e d s a t u p o n m y o w n b e d h i m h e r e t o a t t e m p t r e s t l i c k e d m y l i p s a n d t a s t e d o n c e m o r e t h e s p i c y t r i u m p h o f m y s e c r e t d e a l i n g s M y r o o m m a t e w a s s u f f i c i e n t l y e d a t e d o n o t o n o u s r a m b l i n g s t r a n q u i l i z e d h i H e l a y t a l k e d e t o s l e e p p o u n d e d t h e b e d m y t e e t h a g a i n s t e a c h o t h e r m y r o o m m a t e s a t i n b e d a w a k e a n d b e g a n t o s m i l e H e a s t h e s e g a s p a n g s a t d i s c h a r g e d i e p u l l o p e n t h e t r a s h b a g r u m b l i n g f a r t ! T h e T e l l - T a l e F a r t t h e m i c r o w a v e b l i n k e d t h e h o u r n o i s e f r o m t h e o t h e r r o o m I i n t o i n v e s t i g a t e s t o o d m y r o o m m a t e w h o g r e e t e d m e w i t h a l o w m u m b l e o f a s t u d e n t n o t a t a l l c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h t h e i d e a o f b e i n g c o n s c i o u s t h e e a r l y h o u r o f f o u r A n o i s e h a d b e e n h e a r d d u r i n g t h e n i g h t a n i n a b i l i t y t o s l e e p h a d e n s u e d t o s s i n g a n d t u r n i n g i n s o m n i a s o o n s e t i n a n d h e ( m y r o o m m a t e ) h a d t h o u g h t t h a t a l a t e n i g h t s n a c k m i g h t u s h e r i n h i s d e s i r e d r e s t h i m a p l e a s a n t l a t e n i g h t a n d e a r l y m o r n i n g n o i s e I t h e b a t h r o o m f o l l o w e d m y r o o m m a t e k i t c h e n i n a n a t t e m p t t o d e t e r h i m f r o m h i s p u r p o s e t a l k e d t o h i m a b o u t p h i l o s o p h y a n d m a t h e m a t i c s n o n - l i n e a r m a t h e m a t i c s b o r e d h i m y a w n a n d r e t u r n t o t h e b e d r o o m b e f o r e h e h a d a c h a n c e t o i n v e s t i g a t e t h e f r i d g e m h i s w e l c o m i n g b e d s a t u p o n m y o w n b e d h i m h e r e t o a t t e m p t r e s t l i c k e d m y l i p s a n d t a s t e d o n c e m o r e t h e s p i c y t r i u m p h o f m y s e c r e t d e a l i n g s M y r o o m m a t e w a s s u f f i c i e n t l y e d a t e d o n o t o n o u s r a m b l i n g s t r a n q u i l i z e d h i H e l a y t a l k e d m o n o t o n o u s l y h e m u m b l e d o f m y t i r e s o m e t e m p e r a m e n t r e d h i m a s l e e p s t o m a c h r u m b l i n g i n m y i n t e s t i n e s h e s a t a w a k e r u m b l i n g a b o u t c o m p l e x t r i g o n o m e t r y g u t r e d e v e r m o r e f l u e n t l y o f a n y b o r i n g s u b j e c t s I c o u l d c o n t r i v e a c l e n c h e d m y s t o m a c h y e t m y r o o m m a t e s a w m o n o t o n o u s l y t r i a n g l e s h e p a s s o u t t h e i n a b i l i t y o f m y r o o m m a t e t o s l e e p p o u n a b u n d a n t 1 1 1 8 9 8 i s a b u n d a n t 1 1 1 8 9 8 T H t h e a w o k e i n o u r b l i n k e d w a r m e d t h e i s a b u n d a n t 1 1 1 8 9 8 T H w a r m e d t h e i s ( n a p a l m ) t o d c l o s e ( n a p a l m ) t o d c l o s e h e a r ( n a p a l m ) t o d c l o s e h e a r t h i n k n o $ @ $ N o r m a l mH A@ D e f a u l t P a r a g r a p h F o n t * B * B o d y T e x t $ 8 C 8 B o d y T e x t I n d e n t 2 N p y z S V A J# % d Z* 2 2 D z # % & $ U n k n o w n A g e n t 4 2 l o r y 2 j l 6 E G * + Z )$ 6$ % % - - h l 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 2 M2 Q2 f2 j2 2 A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 % C T E M P A u t o R e c o v e r y s a v e o f t a c o a s d A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 % C T E M P A u t o R e c o v e r y s a v e o f t a c o a s d A g e n t 4 2 % C T E M P A u t o R e c o v e r y s a v e o f t a c o a s d A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c @ x CJ d CJ d 6 CJ d G mH CJ F d G mH CJ d G mH CJ d CJ d 6 CJ d CJ d 6 CJ d C$ E CJ b d C$ E 6 CJ b ( 7 o p s u x y S U V n r - B @ f g z W ! ) * F K * ! B F A V$ Y$ $ $ % Z% h% % % % % % % % % % % & & & & & 1& & & & & & & & = B D H Q R V d t x ( (( -( ( ( 0( E( Q( R( U( i( w( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ) ) ) ) #) ) ) 9) ) D) F) G) H) Y) b) ) ) ) ) ) ) * 5* * B* X* Y* Z* v* x* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * + + + + + + =+ @+ L+ V+ + c+ h+ i+ y+ + + + + + + ( ) x - - - - - - - - h- i- j- - - - - - - - - - - N O U ^ K L m r 70 80 90 0 @0 B0 H0 T0 l0 s0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 01 v1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 L2 M2 R2 d2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 1 f 1 & @ 1 1 @ @ 1 z 1 @ 0 z 1 z 1 z 1 z 0 @ 0 @ 1 d @ 1 l @ 1 z 1 F @ 1 $z 0 P @ 1 @ 0 @ 1 @ 1 @ 1 @ 0 $f 1 @ 1 &z 1 @ 1 1 0 @ 1 ^ @ 1 @ 1 z 1 1 z 1 Fz 1 r @ 1 1 @ 0 ! @ 1 ! @ 1 Hz 1 @ 1 J# @ 1 R# @ 1 Vz 1 $ @ 1 $ @ 1 n @ 1 @ 1 1 @ 1 ( @ 1 6* @ 1 & 1 H* @ 1 ( 0 @ 1 6 @ 0 6 @ 1 8 @ 1 Xz 1 lz 1 @ 1 V @ 1 2 0 h @ 1 &f 1 t= @ 1 @ 0 4 @ 1 T@ @ 1 B @ 1 B @ 1 nz 0 HG @ 0 L @ 1 P @ 1 P @ 1 pz 0 bQ @ 1 R @ 1 S @ 1 0f 1 S @ 1 lf 1 T @ 1 f 1 f 1 T @ 1 f 1 T @ 1 T @ 1 U @ 1 f 1 f 1 U @ 1 f 1 f 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 h 1 8i 1 Bi 1 Fi 1 Ni 1 i 1 bi 0 ji 1 X @ 1 X @ 1 X @ 1 i 1 i 1 j 1 Y @ 1 Vj 1 VY @ 1 j 1 nY @ 1 rz 1 j 1 Y @ 1 j 1 j 1 Z @ 1 j 1 Z @ 1 j 1 k 1 k 1 Z @ 1 k 1 Rk 1 @ 1 hk 1 jk 1 k 1 ( @ 1 k 1 k 1 v @ 1 k 1 @ 1 k 1 k 1 k 1 k 1 k 1 l 1 l 1 $l 1 l 1 l 1 Pl 1 @ 1 @ 1 Rl 1 @ 1 Tl 1 @ 1 B @ 1 vl 1 @ 1 $ @ 1 l 1 @ 1 ^ @ 1 l 1 m 1 & m 1 6m 1 _ @ 0 0_ @ 1 bm 1 _ @ 1 m 1 _ @ 1 _ @ 1 m 1 m 1 m 1 _ @ 1 m 1 _ @ 1 m 1 _ @ 1 T @ 1 m 1 x @ 1 m 1 @ 1 n 1 n 1 Ln 1 Nn 1 @ 1 tz 1 a @ 1 dn 1 a @ 1 jn 1 a @ 1 n 1 a @ 1 n 1 b @ 1 n 1 ^b @ 1 n 1 b @ 1 n 1 n 1 c @ 1 n 1 c @ 1 m o n o t o n o u s l y h e m u m b l e d o f m y t i r e s o m e t e m p e r a m e n t r e d h i m a s l e e p s t o m a c h r u m b l i n g i n m y i n t e s t i n e s h e s a t a w a k e r u m b l i n g a b o u t c o m p l e x t r i g o n o m e t r y g u t r e d e v e r m o r e f l u e n t l y o f a n y b o r i n g s u b j e c t s I c o u l d c o n t r i v e a c l e n c h e d m y s t o m a c h y e t m y r o o m m a t e s a w m o n =! # $ % T h e T e l l - T a l e F a r t t h e m i c r o w a v e b l i n k e d t h e h o u r n o i s e f r o m t h e o t h e r r o o m I i n t o i n v e s t i g a t e s t o o d m y r o o m m a t e w h o g r e e t e d m e w i t h a l o w m u m b l e o f a s t u d e n t n o t a t a l l c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h t h e i d e a o f b e i n g c o n s c i o u s t h e e a r l y h o u r o f f o u r A n o i s e h a d b e e n h e a r d d u r i n g t h e n i g h t a n i n a b i l i t y t o s l e e p h a d e n s u e d t o s s i n g a n d t u r n i n g i n s o m n i a s o o n s e t i n a n d h e ( m y r o o m m a t e ) h a d t h o u g h t t h a t a l a t e n i g h t s n a c k m i g h t u s h e r i n h i s d e s i r e d r e s t h i m a p l e a s a n t l a t e n i g h t a n d e a r l y m o r n i n g n o i s e I t h e b a t h r o o m f o l l o w e d m y r o o m m a t e k i t c h e n i n a n a t t e m p t t o d e t e r h i m f r o m h i s p u r p o s e t a l k e d t o h i m a b o u t p h i l o s o p h y a n d m a t h e m a t i c s n o n - l i n e a r m a t h e m a t i c s b o r e d h i m y a w n a n d r e t u r n t o t h e b e d r o o m b e f o r e h e h a d a c h a n c e t o i n v e s t i g a t e t h e f r i d g e m h i s w e l c o m i n g b e d s a t u p o n m y o w n b e d h i m h e r e t o a t t e m p t r e s t l i c k e d m y l i p s a n d t a s t e d o n c e m o r e t h e s p i c y t r i u m p h o f m y s e c r e t d e a l i n g s M y r o o m m a t e w a s s u f f i c i e n t l y e d a t e d o n o t o n o u s r a m b l i n g s t r a n q u i l i z e d h i H e l a y t a l k e d m o n o t o n o u s l y h e m u m b l e d o f m y t i r e s o m e t e m p e r a m e n t r e d h i m a s l e e p s t o m a c h r u m b l i n g i n m y i n t e s t i n e s h e s a t a w a k e r u m b l i n g a b o u t c o m p l e x t r i g o n o m e t r y g u t r e d e v e r m o r e f l u e n t l y o f a n y b o r i n g s u b j e c t s I c o u l d c o n t r i v e a c l e n c h e d m y s t o m a c h y e t m y r o o m m a t e s a w m o n o t o n o u s l y t r i a n g l e s h e p a s s o u t t h e i n a b i l i t y o f m y r o o m m a t i s a b u n d a n t 1 1 1 8 9 8 T H t h e a w o k e i n o u r w a r m e d t h e i s n 1 n 1 o 1 &o 1 c @ 1 d @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 (o 0 8e @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 o 1 e @ 1 4o 1 Zo 1 o 1 ho 1 o 1 o 1 o 1 o 1 o 1 f @ 1 o 1 Zf @ 1 o 1 @ 1 @ 1 @ 1 @ 1 h @ 1 o 1 o 1 @h @ 1 o 1 zh @ 1 o 1 h @ 1 o 1 i @ 1 p 1 i @ 1 p 1 i @ 1 &p 1 j @ 1 j @ 1 j @ 1 (p 1 j @ 1 p 1 j @ 1 p 1 k @ 1 p 1 l @ 1 p 1 ll @ 1 l @ 1 l @ 1 Dm @ 1 ( n a p a l m ) t o d p 1 dm @ 1 p 1 p 1 p 1 m @ 1 p 1 *n @ 1 p 1 p 1 n @ 1 p 1 o @ 1 o @ 1 o @ 1 p 1 q 1 $q 1 vo @ 1 o @ 1 Hq 1 o @ 1 Jq 1 2p @ 1 Hp @ 1 Np @ 1 lp @ 1 rp @ 1 tp @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 Nq 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 Rq 1 q @ 1 Tq 1 vz 1 lq 1 xz 1 r @ 1 rq 1 r @ 1 r @ 1 vq 1 q 1 ds @ 1 q 1 ps @ 1 q 1 s @ 1 q 1 q 0 s @ 1 4t @ 1 Ft @ 1 q 1 q 1 q 1 u @ 1 q 1 Zu @ 1 q 1 bu @ 1 q 1 q 0 q G T i m e s N e w R o m a n 5 S y m b o l 3& A r i a l q h + q f & R ) Y ! 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Normal dot d Agent42 38 n Microsoft Word 8 0 d@ @ @ V ) ( R ) Q hY z Je &f i q t v x z L d dh ( n a p a l m ) t o d c l o s e h e a r t h i n k n o ( a k a N a p a l m n a p a l m @ c y b e r w a r c o m ) - - t o d c l o s e h e a r t h i n k n o $ @ $ N o r m a l mH A@ D e f a u l t P a r a g r a p h F o n t * B * B o d y T e x t $ 8 C 8 B o d y T e x t I n d e n t 2 N E t w M b k# 0% * 02 2 L # % & $ U n k n o w n A g e n t 4 2 % 2 & + P W f h K L 2 0 3 J$ W$ +% -% - $ @ $ N o r m a l mH A@ D e f a u l t P a r a g r a p h F o n t * B * B o d y T e x t $ 8 C 8 B o d y T e x t I n d e n t 2 N p y z S V D# % ^ T* 2 2 2 z # % & $ U n k n o w n A g e n t 4 2 l o r y K M 2 j l 6 E G * + T #$ 0$ % % - - b f 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 G2 K2 2 d2 2 A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 % C T E M P A u t o R e c o v e r y s a v e o f t a c o a s d A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 % C T E M P A u t o R e c o v e r y s a v e o f t a c o a s d A g e n t 4 2 % C T E M P A u t o R e c o v e r y s a v e o f t a c o a s d A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c @ K K x K F CJ d CJ d 6 CJ d G mH CJ F d G mH CJ d G mH CJ d CJ d 6 CJ d CJ d 6 CJ d C$ E CJ b d C$ E 6 CJ b x ( 7 o p s u x y S U V n r - B @ f g z W ! ) * F K * @ P$ S$ $ $ % T% b% % % % % % % % % % % % % & & & +& w& & & & & & & 7 B K L P ^ n r ( ( ( (( )( *( ( K( L( O( c( q( x( y ( z( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ) ) ) ) () )) 3) 4) ) @) A) B) S) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) * * 4* * R* S* T* p* r* x* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * + + + + + 7+ + F+ P+ U+ + b+ c+ s+ + + + + + + # r - - - b- c- d- - - - - - - - - - - H I O X 5 E F g l - 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 2 2 2 2 2 2 $2 &2 2 n2 r2 2 2 2 A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f 10 20 30 90 0 0 B0 N0 f0 m0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 )1 *1 p1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 2 2 2 2 F2 G2 L2 ^2 x2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 1 f 1 & @ 1 1 @ @ 1 z 1 @ 0 z 1 z 1 z 1 z 0 @ 0 @ 1 d @ 1 l @ 1 z 1 F @ 1 $z 0 P @ 1 @ 0 @ 1 @ 1 @ 1 @ 0 $f 1 @ 1 &z 1 @ 1 1 0 @ 1 ^ @ 1 @ 1 z 1 1 z 1 Fz 1 r @ 1 1 @ 0 ! @ 1 ! @ 1 Hz 1 @ 1 J# @ 1 R# @ 1 Vz 1 $ @ 1 $ @ 1 n @ 1 @ 1 1 @ 1 ( @ 1 6* @ 1 & 1 H* @ 1 ( 0 @ 1 6 @ 0 6 @ 1 8 @ 1 Xz 1 lz 0 @ 1 &f 1 t= @ 1 @ 0 4 @ 1 T@ @ 1 B @ 1 B @ 1 n z 0 HG @ 0 L @ 1 P @ 1 P @ 1 pz 0 bQ @ 1 R @ 1 S @ 1 0f 1 S @ 1 lf 1 T @ 1 f 1 f 1 T @ 1 f 1 T @ 1 T @ 1 U @ 1 f 1 f 1 U @ 1 f 1 f 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 h 1 8i 1 Bi 1 Fi 1 Ni 1 i 1 bi 0 ji 1 X @ 1 X @ 1 X @ 1 i 1 i 1 j 1 Y @ 1 Vj 1 VY @ 1 j 1 nY @ 1 rz 1 j 1 Y @ 1 j 1 j 1 Z @ 1 j 1 Z @ 1 j 1 k 1 k 1 Z @ 1 k 1 Rk 1 @ 1 hk 1 jk 1 k 1 ( @ 1 k 1 k 1 v @ 1 k 1 @ 1 k 1 k 1 k 1 k 1 k 1 l 1 l 1 $l 1 l 1 l 1 Pl 1 @ 1 @ 1 Rl 1 @ 1 Tl 1 @ 1 B @ 1 vl 1 @ 1 $ @ 1 l 1 @ 1 ^ @ 1 l 1 m 1 & m 1 6m 1 _ @ 0 0_ @ 1 bm 1 _ @ 1 m 1 _ @ 1 _ @ 1 m 1 m 1 m 1 _ @ 1 m 1 _ @ 1 m 1 _ @ 1 T @ 1 m 1 x @ 1 m 1 @ 1 n 1 n 1 Ln 1 Nn 1 @ 1 tz 1 a @ 1 dn 1 a @ 1 jn 1 a @ 1 n 1 a @ 1 n 1 b @ 1 n 1 ^b @ 1 n 1 b @ 1 n 1 n 1 c @ 1 n 1 c @ 1 n 1 n 1 o 1 &o 1 c @ 1 d @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 (o 0 8e @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 o 1 e @ 1 4o 1 Zo 1 o 1 ho 1 o 1 o 1 o 1 o 1 o 1 f @ 1 o 1 Zf @ 1 o 1 @ 1 @ 1 @ 1 @ 1 h @ 1 o 1 o 1 @h @ 1 o 1 zh @ 1 o 1 h @ 1 o 1 i @ 1 p 1 i @ 1 p 1 i @ 1 &p 1 j @ 1 j @ 1 j @ 1 (p 1 j @ 1 p 1 j @ 1 p 1 k @ 1 p 1 l @ 1 p 1 ll @ 1 l @ 1 l @ 1 Dm @ 1 p 1 dm @ 1 p 1 p 1 p 1 m @ 1 p 1 *n @ 1 p 1 p 1 n @ 1 p 1 o @ 1 o @ 1 o @ 1 p 1 q 1 $q 1 vo @ 1 o @ 1 Hq 1 o @ 1 Jq 1 2p @ 1 Hp @ 1 Np @ 1 l p @ 1 rp @ 1 tp @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 Nq 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 R q 1 q @ 1 Tq 1 vz 1 lq 1 xz 1 r @ 1 rq 1 r @ 1 r @ 1 vq 1 q 1 ds @ 1 q 1 ps @ 1 q 1 s @ 1 q 1 q 0 s @ 1 4t @ 1 Ft @ 1 q 1 q 1 q 1 u @ 1 q 1 Zu @ 1 q 1 bu @ 1 q 1 q 0 q G T i m e s N e w R o m a n 5 S y m b o l 3& A r i a l q h + p f % Q ) X ! 24 d 3 A T h e T e l l - T a l e H e a r t t a c o n i g h t r o o m m a t e f r i d g e l o u d A g e n t 4 2 A g e n t 4 2 40 50 60 0 =0 0 E0 Q0 i0 p0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 % C T E M P A u t o R e c o v e r y s a v e o f t a c o a s d A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c A g e n t 4 2 % C T E M P A u t o R e c o v e r y s a v e o f t a c o a s d A g e n t 4 2 % C T E M P A u t o R e c o v e r y s a v e o f t a c o a s d A g e n t 4 2 1 C W I N N T P r o f i l e s A d m i n i s t r a t o r P e r s o n a l t a c o d o c @ x u CJ d CJ d 6 CJ d G mH CJ F d G mH CJ d G mH CJ d CJ d 6 CJ d CJ d 6 CJ d C$ E CJ b d C$ E 6 CJ b ! - 6 B D E L T t v w N O c a x B J K g l K 0 9 B c g b w$ z$ $ $ 0% % % % % % % % % % % & & $& %& 6& 8& & R& & & & & & & ^ c e i r s w ( ( C( I( N( O( P( Q( f( r( s( v( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ) ) ) $) ) 4) 6) D) O) P) Z) ) e) g) h) i) z) ) ) ) ) ) ) * * V* * c* y* z* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * + + #+ ++ + 7+ 8+ 9+ ^+ a+ m+ w+ + + + + + + + + + + + ( = I J - - - - #- $- %- &- 4- @- A- - - - - - - - - - - - 9 o p v 7 l m 0 0 0 0 0 X0 Y0 Z0 0 a0 c0 i0 u0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 P1 Q1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 &2 2 2 -2 2 02 82 m2 n2 s2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 1 1 f 1 1 & @ 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 F 0 J 1 @ @ 1 z 1 @ 1 L 1 z 1 z 1 z 1 R 0 @ 0 @ 1 d @ 1 l @ 1 z 1 F @ 1 $z 0 P @ 1 @ 0 @ 1 @ 1 @ 1 @ 0 $f 1 @ 1 &z 1 @ 1 V 1 0 @ 1 ^ @ 1 @ 1 z 1 X 1 z 1 Fz 1 r @ 1 1 @ 0 ! @ 1 ! @ 1 Hz 1 @ 1 J# @ 1 R# @ 1 Vz 1 $ @ 1 $ @ 1 n @ 1 @ 1 ^ 1 @ 1 ( @ 1 6* @ 1 j 1 H* @ 1 l 0 @ 1 6 @ 0 6 @ 1 8 @ 1 Xz 1 lz 1 @ 1 V @ 1 v 0 h @ 1 &f 1 t= @ 1 @ 0 4 @ 1 T@ @ 1 B @ 1 B @ 1 nz 0 HG @ 0 L @ 1 P @ 1 P @ 1 pz 0 bQ @ 1 R @ 1 S @ 1 0f 1 S @ 1 lf 1 T @ 1 f 1 f 1 T @ 1 f 1 T @ 1 T @ 1 U @ 1 f 1 f 1 U @ 1 f 1 f 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 g 1 h 1 8 i 1 Bi 1 Fi 1 Ni 1 i 1 bi 0 ji 1 X @ 1 X @ 1 X @ 1 i 1 i 1 j 1 Y @ 1 Vj 1 VY @ 1 j 1 nY @ 1 rz 1 j 1 Y @ 1 j 1 j 1 Z @ 1 j 1 Z @ 1 j 1 k 1 k 1 Z @ 1 k 1 Rk 1 @ 1 hk 1 jk 1 k 1 ( @ 1 k 1 k 1 v @ 1 k 1 @ 1 k 1 k 1 k 1 k 1 k 1 l 1 l 1 $l 1 l 1 l 1 Pl 1 @ 1 @ 1 Rl 1 @ 1 Tl 1 @ 1 B @ 1 vl 1 @ 1 $ @ 1 l 1 @ 1 ^ @ 1 l 1 m 1 & m 1 6m 1 _ @ 0 0_ @ 1 bm 1 _ @ 1 m 1 _ @ 1 _ @ 1 m 1 m 1 m 1 _ @ 1 m 1 _ @ 1 m 1 _ @ 1 T @ 1 m 1 x @ 1 m 1 @ 1 n 1 n 1 Ln 1 Nn 1 @ 1 tz 1 a @ 1 dn 1 a @ 1 jn 1 a @ 1 n 1 a @ 1 n 1 b @ 1 n 1 ^b @ 1 n 1 b @ 1 n 1 n 1 c @ 1 n 1 c @ 1 n 1 n 1 o 1 &o 1 c @ 1 d @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 (o 0 8e @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 e @ 1 o 1 e @ 1 4o 1 Zo 1 o 1 ho 1 o 1 o 1 o 1 o 1 o 1 f @ 1 o 1 Zf @ 1 o 1 @ 1 @ 1 @ 1 @ 1 h @ 1 o 1 o 1 @h @ 1 o 1 zh @ 1 o 1 h @ 1 o 1 i @ 1 p 1 i @ 1 p 1 i @ 1 &p 1 j @ 1 j @ 1 j @ 1 (p 1 j @ 1 p 1 j @ 1 p 1 k @ 1 p 1 l @ 1 p 1 ll @ 1 l @ 1 l @ 1 Dm @ 1 p 1 dm @ 1 p 1 p 1 p 1 m @ 1 p 1 *n @ 1 p 1 p 1 n @ 1 p 1 o @ 1 o @ 1 o @ 1 p 1 q 1 $q 1 vo @ 1 o @ 1 Hq 1 o @ 1 Jq 1 2p @ 1 Hp @ 1 Np @ 1 l p @ 1 rp @ 1 tp @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 Nq 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 p @ 1 R q 1 q @ 1 Tq 1 vz 1 lq 1 xz 1 r @ 1 rq 1 r @ 1 r @ 1 vq 1 q 1 ds @ 1 q 1 ps @ 1 q 1 s @ 1 q 1 q 0 s @ 1 4t @ 1 Ft @ 1 q 1 q 1 q 1 u @ 1 q 1 Zu @ 1 q 1 bu @ 1 q 1 q 0 q G T i m e s N e w R o m a n 5 S y m b o l 3& A r i a l q h + r f W ) Y ! 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