- it came to pass that seclusion became his science - the boy was now a teenager coming into his manhood and a pathetic excuse for a teenager he was (like that of his fellow students) randomly committing petty crimes the cigarettes became his sense of adventure and h f became his feeling of fitting in (being cool down with the homies) the thievery filling him with a foreboding emotion of dread (he was sinking down into the decay of the criminal) - the boy was something he couldn t understand should he be awed and astounded or just be hateful and ignorant he spouted his macabre shit so proud and boisterously (so boastfully ) leading him on goading him into slavery waxing eloquence defiling all preconceived beliefs with his unholy altar of blasphemy his meaty hand flowing gracefully the ink creating worlds of wonder upon the white paper ( he liked to spin up whole worlds ) ( because a person couldn t fit as easily through a page see ) his abrasive style of everything hit hard slipping easily through cracks in the weak foundation and the boy undeniably & inevitably tested his luck being like the man he worshipped who s eye he was always under who s mind he was linked to with stout chains under the banner of friendship (but of course it was a slavery by free will or force ) and the boy although self-assured and confident was the same as each of us in turn his intelligence far superior than the rest of us meager fucks and just as surely as words erupted in frustration and a thousand other emotions friend and friend master and slave parted ways so the na ve boy could travel his own way (which eventually would meet up with the man once again ) there s no way to recall what it was that you had said to me like I care at all - the mystical and weary road to spiritualism was futile (oh how the pagan polytheism was tiring) and in his love for everything he encountered someone someone who he used as an object of escape like a drug a drug you cannot quit sniffing and snorting an object he used as an object for his suffering as he erected an altar and placed her upon it and just as surely as he loved her with all of his penis she used her infidelity to drag him down the road of mud teasing his emotions and hormones with her flirting flitting body (a month a month his kingdom for a month ) (a week - a week -) (positive negative positive negative negative negative) as the world crumbled indefinetely around him all innocence all na vity all it all everything everything sacrificed to the god of misanthropy all he owned thrown away to be replaced by the spirit of nihilism (everything s gone in this world of shit) - the only poison he d ever devoured passionately and willingly had all dried up been tied up was dead to the world as the homies had been too many in number one dreadful day chains like serpents waiting to strike baseball bats like their phallic perversions the testosterone running through them not unlike to the blood that flowed steadily down the pavement from his head the knives newly sharpened like the impaling spears of medieval ages - he thought he was invincible like he could handle anything (that came his way of course ) (he wasn t the instigator) - and the chisel ground away each chip coming in rapid succesion to the preceding one until the letters C R were engraved in the black marble (the blackest of black ) - and the boy shakes his dumbfounded head to clear it his trembling legs tighten muscles clenching together his hands resting on the table top to lift himself as he reaches into his tattered pocket fingers clasping the ammount of money for the bill and throws it onto the table as the coins spin we all look so perfect as we all fall down - standing above the crowd he had a voice that was strong and loud we ll miss him ranting and pointing his finger at everything but his heart we ll miss him -