i can t bear to be happy today the scalpel to make my smile is fornicating with the dust behind my desk but the razor to make me bleed is in ecstasies with my bitten skin can i reject today please sir may i have another life this one doesn t work quite right please sir may i have another knife this one hasn t killed me yet tonight i want to make my own religion i want to make my jesus christ i want to make an opposable jesus - with opposable thumbs it s a bendable toy i can t stand to laugh today my skin is splitting coming apart at the seams my insides falling out i let it dry for way too long i should have learned by now just how the meat is cured can i start again i ll be good this time and i won t make these mistakes again i don t want to live today can t i die for just a little while why can t i leave for just a little while i do not want to live this little while and if i leave i know i ll never come back but i can t bear to breathe today